Over that past couple weeks I have been given another lesson from the Universe. More reminders that I am only human and it is OK for me to break down. I usually am able to keep all the things going on in my life under control. I carry a lot on my shoulders not only for myself but for a lot of people that are in my world.
Last week though I just lost it. I found myself not able to find that positive in my day. I was brought to tears over minor annoyances. Not being able to find something to be grateful about just made me more upset. So what did I do about it? I cried, I cried some more, I talked to some friends who let me cry, complain, whine.
I then did some self-reflection on why I found myself in this place of chaos. Here is what I figured out. I rarely spend any time doing ‘nothing’. My time is valuable so I use it all. So I am up late doing something on one of my “to do” lists. I am up early to do the daily job. I always have something I need to accomplish. I don’t know how to STOP!!! There is always something I “should” be doing. How do people do ‘nothing’?
I have many reminders that life is short. Due to this fact I try to fit way more into life that any sane person should. What happens when a person does this? They crash!! They lose it! They want to run away. This was me and I felt like I failed myself.
This feeling makes me feel sick to my stomach so something has to change. My goal over the next few weeks is to find some time to learn this amazing skill of doing ‘nothing’. I have to find a way to be proud of what I have already accomplished and not always be worried about what I have left to do. I have to come to the realization that I am only human.
If you have any pointers on this skill please share. I don’t think they have classes in it. 😉