Yesterday was the 39th anniversary of my father’s passing and the 38th anniversary of my grandfather’s passing.  I feel that death and change has always been an intricate part of who I am. 

My father was so important to me as any parent is to a child.  When he died my whole world changed and I had to adapt as needed.  I am always adapting to so many things that are out of my control. 

There are parts of who I am that I contribute to my father.  My compassion, being family orientated,  my keen smart ass ability,  love of music and singing,  being creative,  my love and loyalty to people I consider family and helping others through their struggles,  plus my passion for always learning.

I am sure there is more but those would be the highlights from eleven years of life.

Of course everything wasn’t sunshine and roses.  I also got the challenges with weight,  being overly sensitive to how others treat me,  I can be extremely compulsive and worry about how people feel about me.  I have self doubts about almost everything but am able to suck it up and work through it. I take rejection really hard but can hide my negative feelings better than most.   Hiding my feelings hasn’t been as easy since my daughter passed but the old habits are still there.

I miss my dad and grandpa but I do realize that their purpose in this world was met and they left a legacy to all the  people they left behind to take the gifts they gave us and to use them to make this world we  live in better.

Goodnight Daddy and Grandpa… You are still missed.